Friday, August 20, 2010

Two Cent Fridays....

This week was a very beautiful week of honoring the babies.  August 19-Day of Hope has inspired my question of the day.

I was very happy to see that non-BLMs were supporting their family members by changing their pictures on FB.  Assisting them bring the memory boxes into hospitals, especially for those that it was still so fresh. I did not get any support from family, but I did get support from my very good friend, she always makes me feel 'less alone'.  I also had a Non-BLM take pictures of my daughters name and we do not speak at all...she seen her friends babies' name and my daughter and did it together.  It brought tears to my eyes thinking she was also thinking of Alyssa too.  There is nothing like people thinking of your child to make their memory live on.  Especially remembering their name.  Seems like a simple gesture, but you would be surprised at what people have done to me.

I would love your "Two Cents" on how do you feel when a Non-BLM supports you on your special days?  What have they done for you?  Is it just dropping off a card in the mail for your special dates?  Is it taking a picture of something that reminds you of the babies?  What are your "Two Cents" on those that have not shown support?  What have they done?  What can you do to change that in the future?

I can't wait to hear your responses, because I have found no matter how many DO support me, a little piece of me can't stop but think about those who do not and it is very hurtful.  It does not make me feel better knowing I am in this alone......

Hope we have more success stories than not today....but if we do maybe we can come up with a way to change that for us...or at least change our expectations of others' approach.


  1. I love when I get support from NON BLMs. It makes me feel like there are some decent and understanding people in this world. I dont have ALOT of experience with it but I do have some. my friend Molly tells me how she loves and misses Jordan as if he were her own. and Ive never met her. Idk I think the "as if he were my own" is a bit much but it still makes me very happy to read. she has made me pictures on his 1st bday in heaven. she made cupcakes for her family and took pictures in memory of jordan on his first bday. I also had a non BLM post this status yesterday " Happy day of HOPE ♥ This week, we remember all babies born sleeping or whom we have carried but nevermet,or those we have held but could not take home. Make this your status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a child.
    For Kara and Beth (and anyone else I know) who have suffered these losses, my heart g...oes out to you." which made me happy because we dont talk much at all and I dont really know her, and the fact that she thought of me made me happy.
    and I have also had a friend of mine light a candle last october for jordan, she took a picture and sent it to me.

    little things like that just make me happy and warm my heart. altho these women dont know the feeling of losing a child, they are not ignorant in how they go about speaking to me, and they remember my son.

    I was disappointed to see non of my family supported me yesterday, but it also wasnt suprising. as far as how I feel about it and how to change it, I kinda have no feelings towards it. and dont plan to change it. I only want people supporting me that truely WANT to be there supporting me. I dont want to ask someone to be there for me. I just kind of keep my mouth closed and hope to have those people there for me, and if their not. its their loss because that pushes me a bit further away from them

  2. when I get any support from anyone it means the world to me. When it comes from a fellow BLM, I know she reaches out because she knows what it feels like and I think it brings her comfort too. But when a non BLM does it, it really rocks my world. This person who has no clue, no idea what its like still has the heart to do these little things that mean oh so much to us its just awe inspiring. I dont even think they know what it means to us.

  3. Getting support from a non-BLM is (and I'm not all religious) a blessing! You know who my greatest support has been, as she has also remembered your Alyssa! :) I cannot tell you how lucky I have felt to have her in my life. To know someone is there, to know someone cares and to know you can be "normal" around that person really makes a difference. As far as ones who don't support... well, THOSE people don't get my "two cents" at all!!! In fact, I expect a full refund of any "cents" I have given them before! lol Bitter???? ;)

  4. When a non-BLM is supportive of me it make me really happy and it shows that they truly did care about me. I have a few friends who have lost a child to miscarriage and they always say "I kinda know how you feel". Mostly I only get support from one of my non-BLM friends and she's really help full with every thing and I love her for it, the sad thing is is that she is the friends I have known for the least amount of time.
    I have had a few bad experiences with my friends one actually told me that it was my fault that my daughter was stillborn I was so angry and hurt. most of my non-BLM friends now days just ignore me. I really only have the one non-BLM there for me.